Really? Do I really want this to define who I am, who I have been for the past 3 years of my life.
I certainly do not want to leave it behind just yet. But who says I have a choice anyway? You know you really don't!
Seems strange that I want to mark it though. I've wanted this particular tattoo for the past two years. Was thinking of getting it for my 21st birthday next month. My boyfriend asked me if it actually meant something to me. I thought about it (of course I didn't tell him). And the only thing I can even in the slightest bit relate it to is my ED. I don't even know why. Could be that at the time for some bizarre reason, this thing made me happy. Like I had purpose. Purpose to get thin... that's about it. Was I happy really? Or was I just happy being in pain? Punishing myself for the things I had been doing over previous year. The stuff I probably shouldn't have done. Stuff I don't necessarily regret, but I suppose I just shouldn't have done.
No one else would ever understand what it means to me. Well you guys might, if you're reading this, slightly.
It's Sienna Millers tattoo of the Swallow on her wrist btw. I'm a copycat lol. It just appeals to me. Its pretty.
Bonne nuit mon amies.
xxx
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